i tended bar at a family owned pizza place for a while, the owner's son was my guy, so we fucked with people's food a lot. one waitress was a big skank and she would always order a philly cheese steak. one day she was extra bitchy, so my guy tony went made the sandwich, went out behind the dumpster and jacked off on it. that waitress ate every last bit of his hairy load. it was great.